Your Twenties Love Life Wrapped in One Essay.

In case you forgot...Let's put ourselves first in our twenties.

Did you lose yourself during a fleeting moment in your early twenties and regret it, and are now trying to pick up the pieces after, or say, in other words, you are suffering the consequences of your actions from a relationship that drained instead of gave to you. This is not something rare at this age. Maybe you are lucky though, and experienced a relationship that blessed you. If you did, this is one of the most fulfilling and rewarding moments at this time, as you learn the ropes of who you really are in another person's feet and how to master your self-awareness in a mature manner that exerts you to new levels of understanding your true persona. However, in the typical case scenario, at this age, we sometimes just aren't ready. Either way, lets talk about the special topic for this article: self love. Let's talk about why we sometimes just aren't in the right place and time for, let's say, "the one" at this period and it is because of this one factor, putting yourself first, in your earlier twenties.

Self love, it is the most trending aroma we put forth among women these days, as girls are learning how to stand on their own, because it is the twenty first century, and we are reminding each other about the most basic rules, since girls are becoming more and more irresponsible as the decades passes. And by standing on our own, we mean standing on our own emotionally both in work life, home life and with significant others and close friends. It doesn't mean necessarily being alone, pero we just have to learn to depend on ourselves, so we can put ourselves first when we feel like we made so many mistakes, because we are risking it all at this time. We are thinking in terms of establishing ourselves as an individual at this period to achieve higher attainments. With finding the right passion and then turning it into a career. With leaving the endeavors of our parent's thresh hold and settling out on our own to be independent. With trying to finance our rent and daily living habits, further kayo mo...independent. With finding where you belong at this age with other individuals, as it is by far different than high school friends or sleep over buddies. And then lastly, finding that special "someone" to spend those late night conversations with and daily endeavors in sit downs at lunch, coffee breaks and outings during work vacations. Now, when a guy comes into the picture...here is where some girls who are a little less disciplined, stop to think... "let's forget ourselves for awhile" or "why not? yolo!". Wrong... you should never "EVER" yolo for a man, at the sake of your goals.

Now switch the topic for a while and let's talk about our first times! One of the biggest failures to girls is when we made a mistake in a relationship, let's further say, esp. when it was our first. We think it is all our fault if it didn't work out, because it was our first time to be with another significant person. And things were great until you got scared or weren't ready for a commitment. Am I right? Typical younger "you" scenario. And then you ended up feeling lost afterwards. This happens to a lot of girls around the young "adult" life. If you were thinking it were other reasons you guys broke up or other reasons you guys called it quits that had to do with mistakes, maybe, in the back of your mind you just weren't ready, which is what led to those "mistakes" (on both ends maybe), that we call them. And this most likely is a typical reason during these times. If you are in your early twenties, this time is when you usually need to focus on other things, like yourself through passions, not just a guy. This is the important time when you are finding yourself, and relationships add to that factor, yes, but sometimes they are not the full driving force in our twenties and initiative we need to invest our whole mind and energy just into.

So let's sum all the factors together. You need to find where you belong in the adult world first and foremost, and who you are in every aspect of it before you begin those serious adventures of settling down into a long-term relationship. (And this is usually why some relationships fail in the early twenties.) Usually the relationships that hit our doorsteps at this young period of time are just trials to see what we really want and are looking for in life. What do we want out of ourselves? What do we want in the friends or personalities we surround ourselves with, which in term shines to who you are as an individual? What vibe do we want to give out in return to our surroundings and the "you", you want to initialize as a working individual when you finally find your passion, as a significant other can sometimes inspire you to finding your true passions sometimes, true (and that's a blessing)... who knows? God is testing what you want and are really into, with each guy that passes during these times, also. It is an experiment to see who you really are and where your niche is, in the adult world. You are forming yourself. So, don't fret on any situations, where it doesn't work out, because the main factors are that he is not the one at that given time or not the one, period. Most of the time a relationship doesn't go, because you are not in the right time or place to be with that person or you are not in the right time or place at all. Try to figure out where you stand in the world, with each break-up. Reflect. Test yourself at this time, because during your early twenties you should be focusing on establishing yourself as a professional individual preparing for your careers and any dreams you may have, not just, basically, your significant other. That is what is important! If a guy comes, hallelujah! Swerte mo! And you find that once you find your "niche" or your place, you sometimes also find him along the way... the one that fits into your everyday daily habits and routine, the one who can keep up with you, not you adjusting to his lifestyle, since you are the girl. You find the one when you aren't looking, because you are already focusing on the one factor of what's important, which is yourself, not other things that burden or pull your woman "mantra" downhill. And when you do find the one, continue this "habit" of focusing on yourself, and your goals. Don't set your priorities on a different adjustment because of his standards or any demandings. It's okay to make plans together, but make sure you don't sacrifice yourself in the process.

Also, I need to squeeze this point out and necessarily add that the most common problem of girls at this period of time, is that this is the age gap when we feel the most lonely. We have a lot of pressure on us. We have to find the very "him" (the perfect man), and find something to make a living for at the same time, for the rest of our lives. Some people are not ready for a relationship unless the significant other really matches their destiny and goals, as mentioned earlier, but if you do find someone that is worth changing plans for, make sure those plans still increase your mantra and aura in the same manner with a good development to your self-esteem and self-improvement each day, each month and in the long term, over the years. During these times, you are and should continue establishing yourself to be a strong, bad-ass "boss" to yourself, woman, ... and hell... we have to add the factor, keep in mind you have to pay the bills each month.

Speaking of bad ass, if your significant other is pressing you back, then talk it out and tell them where you guys should both stand. You don't have to give up on him, necessarily. You guys can still be together and still work it out, because conversation and communication solves everything. If you want to be together, you will always find a way, no excuses. Conversation and understanding is everything. If your partner isn't good at this communication skill things, then drop it. This may just be his personality as less vocal, or maybe he just doesn't care enough. If you can't handle this, be alone, instead of having a burden. Your twenty's love life, should have a guy that respects your individuality, because that is what true care is. You are in an adventure, right now, of seeing where you want to "be" in a chaotic world. If a guy doesn't support or embrace this, sit down and have a moment to reflect on him and his attitude, whether you really want to continue this "chase".

So let's not hurry or have any regrets in our twenties, with each "failed" relationship. If it didn't work out, it will come back, if it is really yours, and this has been tried and true. First love with a totally amazing guy or any of the guys that come your way at this period of time, is an experience no girl should miss out on, and you should make it count if it arrives at your blessing. Use it to find where you belong as an individual. Every love at this age is exhilarating as you find more of "you", since you are just "starting out". And also, your passions, speaking of passions... you also find your first love here too, as you see your true passions (not always the same from college) give birth in the working world. You see everything come to life during your twenties. And need I keep your reminded, don't forget that with each experience you should be serving yourself through embracing each moment, whether through work life or "boyfriend life", and you must be forgiving to yourself, in the same manner, esp. during problematic times. You need to have an open heart and mind always, as being open to opportunities is key in your passions and good relationships. Challenge yourself in your self-improvement to success at this age, as a personal individual, in every way. And faith and passion goes a long way at these times. God is your number one supporter. Finding something you really love doing and investing yourself into, while keeping God as the driver and forefront of all this, reels in all its benefits in the end and feeds in much more, this self love all us women are pressing for at these decades. It gets you ready for that next relationship, when it does come, and when it is time.

Source of Above Image:

Cosmopolitan Philippines. Dyan Zarzuela. Kelsey Merritt And Boyfriend Conor Dwyer's Palawan Photos Are Giving Us Serious Beach Envy. April 3, 2019. Web Written Article. May 29, 2019.