Creating Yourself through Your Labels.

Have you ever felt trapped inside a box, emotionally, at some point in your life? Actually, if you are living your life to the full extent, at some point you have. At some point you have, had to conquer any "fear born illusions", that this box creates, to experience what God has all to offer to you in this lifetime. Those things that traps us, at times, you at some point should have dealt with, whether in an easy manner without notice, or in a big manner that hovered above you like a distant, hopeless finish line. So to say, before you can experience all life has to give you, you have to cross these so called mountains, or hills, at some point in your life or another. Some of these mountains are a hardship that is reasonable to be sad about for a period. At other times, some of these mountains are just a box, a box, that you, yourself, at times or most of the time, just create.

In this article, I will talk about "Labels" and how they treat us in such a way as to deny us the good in this life, instead of propelling us in a new strength, for a more unique, brighter you. A label can be an acronym for this box I am talking about, because we trap ourselves in them from these fear born illusions. A label comes from certain beliefs of seeing ourselves as "failures", and/or at times it comes from a certain, specific fear(s). You, yourself, can break out of it, though. And I will talk about that all here.

Overcoming These Labels

Rejection and Love:

I will start with the first, and foremost. The very simple, yet so complicated, "Love". There are some labels, we put on ourselves, because of certain "love interest" experiences we came across in our life. If it is a significant other, or crush, or even a best friend that turned into a lover, we may sometimes experience the unimaginable, which is rejection at times. We then do the unimaginable at that, and label ourselves as the loser, instead of seeing them as the one losing the experience of you. The typical. We may gain certain illusions about ourselves, and then put on ourselves certain beliefs that are negative, then. Right? A lot of people have been through this already. How about with an "involved" love further down the road where you did something that you felt "hurt" them, and then you can't forgive yourself for it, because of the things that followed afterwards. You then label yourself as a "heartless" or "hopeless" or "forever alone". Oh boy, that one is all too common! Rejection is simply "Redirection". Remember that. Once, one door closes, a new and better one opens. Sometimes it takes time, but that treasured door will open. Never think this is just a saying. It is so true.

Now when it comes to a sincere love, that you may be in right now, or one that may come in the future, let me remind you the number one notions and common sways. In order to save you your precious time, energy and self value, we have to be careful always and guard our hearts, as girls, no matter how strong you think you are. I have mentioned this in my earlier blogs. And if you do, do the unimaginable, and give too much of your "all" at times, and it ends unwell, then look the other way quick and permanently. You always need to prepare yourself for the worst to come, and think about yourself in the future. If you do feel a heartbreak give yourself time and a positive surrounding, with the right people. However, never alone, because you may then gain some negative thoughts, because you are in a vulnerable state.

Our "Sin":

Leading then to the next fact, that some people experience this box from experiences of heartbreak or hardships, like a time they did something to their family or friends, or anyone, someone close, that they cannot forgive themselves for, so they label themselves for it. As I mentioned in my later blogs, forgiveness to oneself is more difficult than to another person. Sometimes we can take it upon ourselves, and trap ourselves into a certain belief or "label", or behavior. This is the saddest thing of all, because God didn't create you to live a life like this. God already took all the labels, with Him, on the cross. Even the label of a "Sinner".

Now, we may "sin", or make mistakes, but they were conquered at the "Cross", so that God could give us the life He, Himself, meant for us. The life He wants us to be deserving of. He wants us to live the life He sacrificed, and that life is a life filled with joy and peace. Nobody is perfect, but Jesus. He knew that from the get go, so He took the labels upon Himself, at the Cross, hundreds of years ago, so you don't have to. So if you are having self blame or any negative thoughts about yourself, remember self blame, which is accompanied with unforgiving behavior, is a sin as well, if it is felt for too long. How do you know if it is felt for too long? If it is reached to a certain point where you were aware it wasn't your fault, because it never is, in the end. We are all trying our hardest in this lifetime. Everybody is. Remember, if you think you knew right, and did it any way, you didn't, or you wouldn't have done it, in the first. It is never your fault, ever. We are all still growing. And we all grow at different rates. And that is nobody's fault, or your fault especially.

How can we then take on forgiveness to our self, if it is still difficult for you? Through prayer. Ask God to help you forgive yourself, too, if needed. Sometimes it may take you time. Prayer is always the answer. Then say sorry to the person too, and yourself for the blame you labeled and took on. That lifts a weight sometimes. The person you apologize to doesn't need to accept it. Just as long as you know, you were sincere, and know what is right and wrong now.

First Thought Labels:

On another note, you may, have the other way around, developed a fear of a certain dream or freedom, because of a dysfunctional set up in your living surroundings growing up or at some point in your lifetime, so you grew eventually a label(s) on yourself, for something that wasn't your fault. Maybe you were in a toxic family/ school/ group of friends, that instead made you feel less than, instead of more than. If this is the case, you need to drop the wrong people, and drag in the good ones. Drop the negativity, and bring in the positivity. Sometimes, communication with a certain person, can lead to a solution of any misunderstandings you had too.

What about when it comes down to your parents? The father or mother, has the greatest power on some individuals at times. These people we confide in, so we give them our admiration and trust, sometimes to the extent that we give them our core beliefs of points that they significantly say or notion off. We have to then look back at what culture, generation, experience and/or life our mother or father came from, before believing everything they say.

Coming to the topic of dragging in the good earlier, let's talk further about friends. Friends, at our adult age, aren't the stronger one of these notions. Girls can relate with girls, easily. We tend to heal from a "girl time" with friends, instead of gain judgements afterwards. Just keep in mind, hang out with true friends. Just a reminder. Some people are not always on your side, because they are jealous of something you have, or sometimes a situation you are involved in, that they cannot handle. Be alert.

A Comfortable and Sore Rock.

Others experience this box, through past hurt or pain, of a hardship, that keeps gnawing at them, every few minutes, so unnoticeable, that it can go on for months or even years, because it is so accustomed, and comfortable in a strong place in their mind. Comfortable is the barrier though. This box, however, I will now mention is an "imaginary" box, and I will now state imaginary, because this box, should be freed from after a certain period of time or, even, "not" felt at all.

We are meant to feel comfortable at first with this certain "grudge" or "mistake", sometimes, but after a brief period, like a few minutes or a day, or if it takes, even two weeks, we should free our minds. Some of us, we shouldn't even feel this certain "rock" in our chest, at all, to begin with. Yes, if we didn't feel the rock in our chest in the first, we would never feel the "rewarding" of the lesson learned afterwards. The rewarding, of coming out a stronger, more understanding version of yourself, where you can look down on life with much more clarity. However, don't punish yourself.

When a pain is there for too long, however, you will learn about it, by your certain behavior(s) overtime. You will notice, by your actions in how you treat others, or the daily choices you make in certain situations or opinion makings. Especially, if you hang out with a group of positive and smart people, you will tend to notice right away. Because of how different your behavior is from theirs. Because your decision making will be odd in their "atmosphere". This is actually always the best solution, because then that "rock" in your chest, can be set free, right away, once you have given it to God, through self forgiveness, acceptance and awareness.

That is why the people you surround yourself with on a daily basis, is important. Then, once freed from any pain(s) you hoarder, a new "you", a "you" full of a new serenity and altruistic calm can come out, that was meant, because you are more mature. And this inner peace, is an important target that we all have to keep achieving each and every year, throughout this life time. Problems are always there everyday, given to us. It just depends how we handle it.

Fight IT!

The Importance of the Cross.

These hardships were given to us for a purpose, we then can conclude, obviously. And prayer, was also given to us as a gift because of the Cross, as well. So if you put two, and two, together, you get the perfect combat of a winning battle. God already conquered those mountains at the Cross. Everything in this life that brings us suffering and pain, He took to the Cross already to instead give us the joy and understanding we needed, in its place. He doesn't want us to feel any suffering here or the Cross would be a journey left without a purpose. He gave us the gift of prayer, so we could have Him on our side to conquer these so called labels, or any hardships for that fact. That is why life is much easier with Him on our side. He is always on our side, by the way, if you just let Him. We just need to open up to Him through prayer, and accept Him as our Lord and Savior, if we haven't yet in this lifetime and pray continuously and sincerely, even when we think we don't need it. Sometimes God is just waiting for you to ask Him for His help or say something out loud to Him, before He takes action too.

We don't totally rely on sincere prayer for these hardships that hold us back, though. We have to do our part and take action too, after those prayers are released. This is called "Faith in Action". There is a half, half factor to the math problem here. You have to show God that you understand His words, too, that He says to you, through your actions of how you treat yourself or combat your problems everyday and every year. And even certain beliefs you carry in your head are actions too. Keep in mind, we are stronger through a relationship with God and an understanding of Faith.

Anyways, the solution to all of this in physical actions too, is to just get outside! Experience more than just a certain place, person, or group of people. This world is gigantic and all full, just for you! Instead of always staying at home or with a certain person(s), get into a group of people or friends that are different and/or also uplifting and raise you in a positive manner. Not everyone has the same opinion. Find positive friends that have the same beliefs/passions as you, because your beliefs help shape you in a more unique manner. You need to be with people that make you happy. This is good also during hardships, break ups, or a lover's "quarrel", or even depression. We need positive uplift always, in this lifetime, no matter how strong we think we are. And a positive group of friends can prevent us from overthinking or imagining things in our head that are negative, or not even close to true, or not even close to reasonable.

Create Yourself.

If you ever labeled yourself, because of a certain characteristic that someone pointed out to you from your past now, I will write some clarity, again. Repeated, as is, know this person(s) may be jealous of a certain factor to their environment involving you or something you have and they don't have, which led them to say those things or act in certain actions. Whatever someone says or does to you, says more about them, than it does about you. As I will repeat myself always. Really, you would be surprised, most of the time, if you actually, really knew what was hiding behind any hurtful things someone said, or hurtful actions, they did, because there is always something.

You need to then look instead at your strong points both personality-wise and physically. Stand in front of the mirror, and flaunt them, and then work hard to bring out the best in yourself, knowing that you were already accepted at the Cross and worth dying for, by Jesus to live a life you fully deserve and can't waste. God created you in a unique manner, so be confident in what He made you to be confident about.

Sometimes the things that we find are quirky or more weird in our characteristics or appearance, or we feel insecure about, serve as our best features, or allure. Say for the matter, British model Cara Delevingne and her boyish, thick brows. She told in an interview at once, that she was insecure to her eyebrows growing up, but her mother told her to embrace them as she got to a certain age. Now she is known for them, as a model.

Most of the time our characteristics, whether outside or inside (sometimes in our attitude, at times), that we are insecure about, once you find your positivity, you will see they bring out the best in you. We can use those as our strong points, and make ourselves, stand out as a unique, striking individual then. It can be an attraction, instead of the negativity you may be thinking, that is all an illusion.

You need to learn to love yourself. Because once we love ourselves, everything in this life will follow afterwards, how it is meant to. You will find that things just keep falling into place, after place, until one day you wake up and you have more than you ever wanted. We attract positivity all around us once we become it, as well as success and happiness, the more. And learning to love yourself is, in a form, itself, learning to be forgiving to yourself, as well. Successful people know this key rule well.

God made everyone in a perfect manner. We just have to find it, which is the way He intended. Actually, I am wrong. We are not meant to find our self, always. Life isn't necessarily about finding yourself, but actually about creating yourself. You create yourself through each "battle" you face in this lifetime. The smarter you are about your hardships, the more you are attracting of that positive energy you want. We all need more strength in this world, really. Right? Labels should never touch us. We should instead define those labels, instead of letting them define us. And we are allowed to. We are allowed to be happy. We need to be selfish, for once, because of God. Damn right! All that work He did on the Cross, shouldn't be ignored. Besides, think of it. You are a "Christian Dior", not a simple drug store item. You are what you label yourself anyways.

Neat Points.

A neat solution for self blame and self labeling too, is to write yourself a simple, positive note, on your fridge or bathroom mirror, that you can see everyday, such as "You are a kind person." or "You have bright eyes."... anything you feel insecure about. It will eventually get to your head and shift your perspective(s) you once thought was/were impossible to let go of.

Other things that may help is meditation, time with friends, yoga, reading, quiet alone time, painting, expression through writing, your simple pleasures or passions, and/or a simple down time or chat with your mother, aunt or sister. Anything to get you moving in a positive light, or simple glee.

Source for Images:

"11 Habits of a Confident Women." HelloBrazen> LifeStyle. September 1, 2019. <https://hellobrazen.com/habits-of-a-confident-woman/>. September 6, 2019.

Taylor Hall. "11 Ways to Practice Positivity and Self Love." University of Connecticut. July 9, 2018. Odyssey.<https://www.theodysseyonline.com/10-ways-for-to-practice-positivity-and-self-love>. September 5, 2019.